- Martin Luther King, Jr.
Why would I start with this quote?
Because of the possibilities it opens up.
I'm seriously rethinking my eating habits and it's not even January 1 yet. I woke up with CHANGE coarsing through my veins and my gut this morning: I'm on the brink of outgrowing my largest pair of jeans, my energy is low, I feel sluggish and look it as well. The luster is gone out of my eyes....I'm unsettled, overcommited and NOT committed.
Duriing the last year and a half, I've had a string of supposedly close friends and family member break commitments and betray me.
I've had enough-- I'VE HAD IT!
Knowing the power of questions, I ask myself: Where is it I'm betraying myself?
I'm going for the hard truth here. This is hardball if I'm not waiting until the holidays are over to change or be conscious of what or how much I put in my mouth.
Here's the truth: So often I hide my truth behind a cup of coffee and pastry, some chocolate or WHATEVER (wouldn't a trip to Starbucks be lovely just now instead of having the conversation I don't want to have, feeling the feelings I don't want to feel, looking at the gorilla of truth in the mirror, etc?).
I'm accelerating into the next question because it carries the terrifying avalanche of awareness and CHANGE: "What truth am I hiding with food?"
AAAUUUUGHHHHHHH!!!!!!! RUN FOREST, RUN or you'll be devoiured and consumed!
By truth.
Take a breath.
Take another breath.
Staring truth in the face and feeling it in the gut can be transformative. But then it launches one into new territory, often unknown territory.
So, please refer to the opening quote.
If you're reading this and have had enough of your present track-- so much that you're ready to WHATEVER IT TAKES to take one step at a time into the unknown-- then you know EXACTLY where we both stand today.
I'm getting to do today what I urge my clients to do: Let yourself see clearly what is in front of you, proceeding one step at a time. Often seeing clearly involves removing the obstacles to clarity.
And I don't need to see every step, all the way to my goal. All I need to see is the pool of light that my headlights of "one day at a time" cast on the road so I can make my journey. If I were travelling from L.A. to New York at night, this is how I'd do it.
Layers of resistance to change and deeper truth and awareness can burst immediately when we allow ourselves see without the medication of food....or WHATEVER we hide behind or medicate with. All we need to do is to commit to one day at a time. That's it.
So, what AM I hungry for? When I stop to look at this question, the answer is NOT the slice of pumpkin loaf or espresso brownie and accompanying americano I reactively reach for.
Today my hunger is for simplifying my overcommited life immediately: creating solitude in the desert, meditation and quiet time daily, a trip to the hotsprings soon: COMMITING TO MY OWN SELF NURTURING, so I don't need to do it with food.
THAT'S what I'm really hungry for.
