awakening in yoga class

This morning, cocooned in natural light
streaming through
huge, west-facing windows in yoga class,
I slipped into
Wondering.

Body and soul opened,
and i peered deep into the cave of
Wondering.
Memories of a grade school time,
the memory of
my father's unbridled laughter streaming from
my core,
a blood memory,
omnipresent,
clear as the sun, never fading.

I walked in,
sat in the cave of
Wondering
so I could see
what was outside
and FEEL
what was inside,
breathing the feeling
down to my bones.
Stillness
and the medicine
of that blood memory
imbedded in the double helix.

I walked out of class
still wondering,
wrapped in the memory
of easy laughter and joyful living
wondering in my cells
what it would be like
to look at myself
without the padding surrounding my body.
Would the lines of each asana
be more grace-full, effortless,
less strain in my face,
more easy peace shining from within?

No thoughts of
"you should have" or
"you ought to"
crossed the barrier
of the cave's opening.

What would it feel like
to let it go?
padding, judgements
rigid expectations
pushing, deadlines?
Only choice
to step forward into each
present moment.

Today
the Wondering
becomes a walking mantra
filling each
present
NOW.

New doors open,
long closed.
A new world to
walk in,
to wake in
and grow into
emerges from
the cave of
Wonder.