HOW LYNDS GOT HER BOD BACK: Day 10: Commitment: Self Saboteurs
So sorry readers! I asked you to tune in the day after my last post, and it's now over a week later. GEESH! No excuses, I'm just hopping back in...
Comittment to a blog is important, too!
(Sigh)...so where was I?
Ah, self saboteurs. (laughing) Of course-- PERFECT.
Knowing I can't hang ANY responsibility on anyone else for my experience always allows me more freedom from the victim position when it comes to commitment.
I don't know about you, but here's how I sabotage myself.
1. I make unclear comittments, ones that PART of me can agree to, but not all of me. So there's a divided team inside from the start. For one, I often don't consult my body. More on that later.
2. I make unrealistic comittments, which immediately set me up for failure.
3. I create no support to keep me in my comittments. This is different than holding my support people responsible for my breaking my own comittments.
Here are a few more. In their book "The Conscious Heart", relationship pioneers Gay and Kathlyn Hendricks sum up four reasons why we break our commitments:
1. We make insincere commitments
2. We commit to things we cannot control
3. We leave a back door open
4. We make unconscious commitments that contradict the original commitment
If I'm really wanting to get my bod back, I'll set up the comittments I make to get my results along these guidelines:
1. Comittments are made from a whole being "YES" (body, mind, heart, spirit, adult and also the little kid within me. Yes, the kid gets a vote!)
2. I set up support and make clear agreements with those involved as to how to support me. AND THEN ALLOW MYSELF TO BE SUPPORTD. (Just a reminder to myself)
3. This is a NO EXIT game. Period. (I know, I know. There is a part of me chiding "god Lynds, what are you doing?")
4. I am 100% responsible for creating all of my experience.
5. I do a daily check in with my whole being (listed in #1 above. This will nip any kind of mutiny in the bud).
6. Recommit when necessary. (If I walked away from my first bike the moment I fell off, I'd have never had the pleasure of the bike rides I take today!)
As a parting observation, it's really interesting I'd be starting all this body stuff right before the biggest holday season of the year. Hmmm, hmmm......I guess I want a differnt experience of that this year!
Friday, November 20, 2009
Thursday, November 12, 2009
How Lynds Got Her Bod Back: Day 2: Commitment: Crossing the Abyss
Hooo-EEE!
Going over the edge of the cliff into commitment is quite the experience.
The reason I start with "the 'C' word: It's a place many of us run from. Yeah, I'm definitely NOT satisfied with where I am and want I the good stuff so bad I can taste it! I'll make that list of everything I'm going to do, things I know have worked in the past and absolutely WILL work today and tomorrow. I will begin with sparkling dreams and gusto through each day for a certain period of time, plunging through all kinds of adventures to come closer to attaining my prize. I'll start to get results and pat myself on the back for the results I've created. People will even compliment me and it feels like I'm on a roll.
Then something happens.
Before long I'm feeling the same way I did prior to embarking on the journey: disgusted with myself.
WHAT HAPPENED? I tell myself that somewhere along the way, THIS (whatever circumstance feels the most believeable) happened. Yup, that was it and I'm sticking to my story. It could be any one of a slew of circumstances (we all have our favorites), some of which might seem very understandable as to why I abandonded my ship. Even sadder is the fact that I didn't even throw myself a rope so I have a chance of being on board again. I just let myself go. It's then months and maybe even years before I attempt this project again.
The plain and simple fact here is that I surrendered my commitment.
Today I know that none of the reasons why I lost my grip even matter. None of the reasons why I didn't ask for support while I was falling don't matter either. Plain and simple, instead of recommiting, I gave up on myself. Instead of keeping my word TO ME, I let my dream fall farther and farther, eventually disappearing sight.
Wow, sit and breathe with that one for a moment, Lynds.
Admitting that fact is the first step to a major rewire in this area for me. Honesty is good medicine! It may be the first handhold that would save the sinking dream. Whew! Having that awareness, maybe I actually have a chance at this really hapening.
Now I can go over the cliff, embarking on the new adventure, but my sound advice to myself is that I'd better be on belay and have a damn good belayer. To leave the place of of "this isn't working and I want something different" to "I'm there and man, does this feel GOOD!", there's the not-so-little matter of crossing the space in between: The Abyss. Peering into the depths of it I see the wreckage of past years, even past months. It's not fun to look at and less fun to remember. YIKES!
The truth of getting the reliable belayer is that she's not far away. I stand in her shoes. No one is responsible for keeping my committment to be on belay other than myself. The farther away from myself I attempt to go to hang responsibility for this venture, the longer I'll put off my dream until it becomes too late. Trust me, I've done it far too many times, with miserable results. With myself now as belayer, how do I do that well, instead of turning into my own saboteur?
Tune in tomorrow!
Going over the edge of the cliff into commitment is quite the experience.
The reason I start with "the 'C' word: It's a place many of us run from. Yeah, I'm definitely NOT satisfied with where I am and want I the good stuff so bad I can taste it! I'll make that list of everything I'm going to do, things I know have worked in the past and absolutely WILL work today and tomorrow. I will begin with sparkling dreams and gusto through each day for a certain period of time, plunging through all kinds of adventures to come closer to attaining my prize. I'll start to get results and pat myself on the back for the results I've created. People will even compliment me and it feels like I'm on a roll.
Then something happens.
Before long I'm feeling the same way I did prior to embarking on the journey: disgusted with myself.
WHAT HAPPENED? I tell myself that somewhere along the way, THIS (whatever circumstance feels the most believeable) happened. Yup, that was it and I'm sticking to my story. It could be any one of a slew of circumstances (we all have our favorites), some of which might seem very understandable as to why I abandonded my ship. Even sadder is the fact that I didn't even throw myself a rope so I have a chance of being on board again. I just let myself go. It's then months and maybe even years before I attempt this project again.
The plain and simple fact here is that I surrendered my commitment.
Today I know that none of the reasons why I lost my grip even matter. None of the reasons why I didn't ask for support while I was falling don't matter either. Plain and simple, instead of recommiting, I gave up on myself. Instead of keeping my word TO ME, I let my dream fall farther and farther, eventually disappearing sight.
Wow, sit and breathe with that one for a moment, Lynds.
Admitting that fact is the first step to a major rewire in this area for me. Honesty is good medicine! It may be the first handhold that would save the sinking dream. Whew! Having that awareness, maybe I actually have a chance at this really hapening.
Now I can go over the cliff, embarking on the new adventure, but my sound advice to myself is that I'd better be on belay and have a damn good belayer. To leave the place of of "this isn't working and I want something different" to "I'm there and man, does this feel GOOD!", there's the not-so-little matter of crossing the space in between: The Abyss. Peering into the depths of it I see the wreckage of past years, even past months. It's not fun to look at and less fun to remember. YIKES!
The truth of getting the reliable belayer is that she's not far away. I stand in her shoes. No one is responsible for keeping my committment to be on belay other than myself. The farther away from myself I attempt to go to hang responsibility for this venture, the longer I'll put off my dream until it becomes too late. Trust me, I've done it far too many times, with miserable results. With myself now as belayer, how do I do that well, instead of turning into my own saboteur?
Tune in tomorrow!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
How Lynds Got Her Bod Back: Day 1
I really don't even know how to begin this, so here goes....
How Lynds Got Her Bod Back......what's that about?
Actually right now I have no idea, except just one:
Commitment. Whatever I decide to do to get my body back, I will do for a year. That span will provide me with some time to get there-- and time to hang out and feel what it's like maintaining that place. A year from now on 11/11/10, I will be looking back on "The Year I Took My Bod Back".
Will it inspire anyone? Dunno. Will I be a better person for having given myself to the journey? Absolutely. Why?
Simply because it's TIME. I am 51 years of age. I have two exceptional grown children, a son-in-law and 2 adorable grandchildren. I'm in my 2nd marriage to a wonderful man, teach a group of amazing string students and am a dynamic life coach. I'm 5'9" and today, I'm weighing in at 181 lb.
I want my body back.
Although this year will be about doing the things to shed the weight and get a healthier, flexible, more resilient body, I already know FAR more than that will be involved. I'm a person who likes taking life DEEP and my present quest is no different. It's NOT about skimming the surface of "going on a diet" and performing a regular exercise regimen. I think that's why so many folks (myself included) who lose weight this way, gain it back sooner than later. I'm looking for a lifestyle change that will stay with me the rest of my days. I have been heavy most of my life and enjoyed being slender and fit too seldom in my 51 years. There is a price I've paid for being heavy that long, as well as a mindset and way of life that comes with with it. I also have a feeling like I'm on the verge of a revolution.
A REVOLUTION. What's different today is that I'm going to let my commitment transform me. I'm putting that concept to the test. Letting my commitments transform me. Oh, oh...SO easier said than done! So to up the anty, I'm trapping myself into this in a rather big way: I am actually exposing myself to public view as I undertake all this, something I would have fled from years ago. Yup, if I don't tell anyone I can let this commitment slip away the first time I'm pushed into an uncomfortable place and there will be no consequence.
Except with my body, of course. WHO DID I THINK I WAS KIDDING? The consequence: I land back at square one. Yeah, no one will know, except the most important player: ME. There's a part of me ranting: "You're effing crazy". Uh huh, the part that wants the status quo. "Don't rock the boat, we're doing just fine." More about that part in subsequent posts.
I look at today's date: 11/11/2009. Three elevens. They look like portals to me. One for the past, one for the present, one for the future. The place I hope to spend most of my waking hours is TODAY, and each today I encounter this year. More specifically, the present moment. Right now, RIGHT NOW. One day at a time, one moving moment at a time.
That's the first place I think I'll get my bod back: the present moment. The place where I can best be IN my body. The only place, really.
Hmmm, IN my body. That's the place I'm starting first. A commitment to be in my body.
How Lynds Got Her Bod Back......what's that about?
Actually right now I have no idea, except just one:
Commitment. Whatever I decide to do to get my body back, I will do for a year. That span will provide me with some time to get there-- and time to hang out and feel what it's like maintaining that place. A year from now on 11/11/10, I will be looking back on "The Year I Took My Bod Back".
Will it inspire anyone? Dunno. Will I be a better person for having given myself to the journey? Absolutely. Why?
Simply because it's TIME. I am 51 years of age. I have two exceptional grown children, a son-in-law and 2 adorable grandchildren. I'm in my 2nd marriage to a wonderful man, teach a group of amazing string students and am a dynamic life coach. I'm 5'9" and today, I'm weighing in at 181 lb.
I want my body back.
Although this year will be about doing the things to shed the weight and get a healthier, flexible, more resilient body, I already know FAR more than that will be involved. I'm a person who likes taking life DEEP and my present quest is no different. It's NOT about skimming the surface of "going on a diet" and performing a regular exercise regimen. I think that's why so many folks (myself included) who lose weight this way, gain it back sooner than later. I'm looking for a lifestyle change that will stay with me the rest of my days. I have been heavy most of my life and enjoyed being slender and fit too seldom in my 51 years. There is a price I've paid for being heavy that long, as well as a mindset and way of life that comes with with it. I also have a feeling like I'm on the verge of a revolution.
A REVOLUTION. What's different today is that I'm going to let my commitment transform me. I'm putting that concept to the test. Letting my commitments transform me. Oh, oh...SO easier said than done! So to up the anty, I'm trapping myself into this in a rather big way: I am actually exposing myself to public view as I undertake all this, something I would have fled from years ago. Yup, if I don't tell anyone I can let this commitment slip away the first time I'm pushed into an uncomfortable place and there will be no consequence.
Except with my body, of course. WHO DID I THINK I WAS KIDDING? The consequence: I land back at square one. Yeah, no one will know, except the most important player: ME. There's a part of me ranting: "You're effing crazy". Uh huh, the part that wants the status quo. "Don't rock the boat, we're doing just fine." More about that part in subsequent posts.
I look at today's date: 11/11/2009. Three elevens. They look like portals to me. One for the past, one for the present, one for the future. The place I hope to spend most of my waking hours is TODAY, and each today I encounter this year. More specifically, the present moment. Right now, RIGHT NOW. One day at a time, one moving moment at a time.
That's the first place I think I'll get my bod back: the present moment. The place where I can best be IN my body. The only place, really.
Hmmm, IN my body. That's the place I'm starting first. A commitment to be in my body.
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