GRACE

How many of us feel, in some way, that we are currently behind the curve of what we could be doing/experiencing/having in life right now? How many of us feel just plain buried by life? The feeling is like this: it's coming so thick and fast that we're sure we'll never be able to come up for air as we ride a devouring,out-of control flood and will be drowned...right? This feeling is commonplace, especially with how fast life is taking many of us. With the huge amount of change happening in multiple areas of our lives, it's easy to feel like we're chasing after a bullet train without enough steam inside us to catch up with it. Overwhelm sets in,often creating it's own tangents: frustration, feeling not good enough, fast enough, smart enough or conscious enough to be equal to the task of the life that's in front of us. Today was no different for me: lots of dynamic change going on in my life, great opportunities and openings. I've been feeling like it's harvest time, the fruit is dead ripe on the tree and there's so much available that I can't possibly deal with gathering it in properly. So once again, I'm missing the proverbial boat. Thank god for the twists in the path that offer moments of grace and perspective where we see very clearly 1)how far we've actually come, 2)who we really are, 3)why we're here 4) that we haven't missed the boat and 4) yes, believe it or not, we're right on time. The twist today: Company that was supposed to be here for Thanksgiving had a last minute flight snafu, providing the entire day to do something other than cram every blessed moment of the day into activity: preparing the house, the food and being with loved ones nonstop. This unexpectedly relaxed day allowed me to be in a place near sunset where I could take in the last rays of the setting sun in as I have done for months in my sun gazing practice. It's been a recent addition to my spiritual practice with benefits like: getting my body synced up w/ circadian rhythm to assist my adrenals to heal, grounding me AND giving me huge spiritual insights to my life. Those first or last few minutes of the day that I spend with my bare feet on the earth(yes, even in winter) gazing at the sun have truly changed my life. As I completed my 5 minute gaze today with palms facing the sun, a voice said, "You think you're missing it, but in fact every moment of the last 8 years has prepared you for what's about to come next. You are perfectly in position for what's right around the corner and you're right on time." What surprised me most about this information is that I felt this message down to my bones; down to the soles of my feet and the bottom of my gut. I felt it in my BODY....and I know my body doesn't lie. I scanned quickly over the past almost 8 years since I moved to Colorado, reviewing the ups and downs, the seeming mistakes, detours and places where I've just plain held back. None of it seemed to matter anymore. The information I received in this moment today told me that none of the assessments and judgements I have had of myself mattered in relation to what awaited me around the bend. So, even as I was stumbling and seemingly fumbling around in the dark, in the desolation of an apparent desert-- the journey in its entirety, the good, bad and ugly-- ultimately brought me to this place. I don't have a brilliant ending to this post today. It's been a long time since I posted and I'm hoping to bring more consistent offerings to this page on a regular basis. Today, all I can say is: If you're reading this and it applies to you, PERSEVERE. Trust your guidance. Continue putting one foot in front of the other,even if it feels like you're walking in the dark of night. KEEP BREATHING...AND TRUST.